Elf on a Shelf - Legolas the Sk8er Elf
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"Together the Elf and the Dwarf entered Minas Tirith, and folk that saw them pass marvelled to see such companions; for Legolas was fair of face beyond the measure of Men, and he sang an elven-song in a clear voice as he walked in the morning ..."

.R.R. Tolkien (who else!), 5nd book, The War of The Ring, chapter IX: "The Last Debate"
"Hm. I don't think I can shoot him with that one - the yellow feathers would clash with the colour of his cloak ..."
And don't forget:
The eyes of Mirkwood
are upon you!
"A MAD LITTLE THING" (according to Peter Jackson)
According to a certain Mrs Scherer of German teengirl magazine "Mädchen" ("Girl"),

"Orlando perfectly matches today's picture of a dream man. An androgynous type - not too soft, but also not too much of a macho." ***

Deep stuff.
Simple minds like us would say:
"Woahee baby, hubba hubba!"
We can't express how  grateful we are for Orlando Bloom's popularity.

Year after year Hollywood has tried to woo us girls with an army of Pretty Boys with perfect faces, perfect bodies, perfect smiles -and about as much charisma as lukewarm tapioca.

However, the main attraction about the man is that he, despite interviews, features, awards, a zillion websites to his name plus half of the female population at his feet still seems to be the same bloke he was before "Lord of the Rings". No stories about arrogant behaviour. No reports about "supastah"-attitudes. No ugly scenes in restaurants. But also none of the "I'm a good boy, I don't drink and don't smoke and safe myself for marriage" yadda yadda that seems to be fashionable at the moment. He comes across as a down-to-earth, honest guy, and it's this normality which makes the man so likeable. After all, what good is a nicely wrapped gift box if it's empty?

Some mags have written with a sourly moralist undertone that Bloom likes to party wherever a party happens. Gee folks - he's a normal healthy guy of 26 (and he's a Brit!) - what do you want him to do in his spare time - needlework?!?

Party on, dude!
*** source: "20 minuten", 17/1/03
These last weeks was the premiere for Blooms movie "Ned Kelly" about the legendary Kelly gang (with Heath Ledger in the title role and co-staring Geoffrey Rush).
Right now, Orlando Bloom is just about to finish Disney's "Pirates of the Carribean", along with Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush (do we see a pattern here?)

He'll also feature as "Paris" in Wolfgang Petersen's (yeah!) "Troy", which is definitely the more interesting project. Brad Pitt will be Achilles (whose idea was that? Great actor, no doubt, but a much too modern-looking one.) And somewhere in the North of England somebody will be very pleased to hear that Sean Bean was casted as Odysseus. Hector will be portrayed by Eric Bana.
If you collect all the articles, news and interviews about "Lord of the Rings", you'd end up with a book the size of the Encyclopaedia Britannica. And a good deal of these articles could be found under "L" for "Legolas" (also see "E" like "Elf" and "Y" like "yum yum".)

Amazing things have been written: that the "androgynous looks of Legolas are so attractive to women because they can identify with this character", a character who "is experienced as a non-threatening male" (d'oh) Another psychologist let the world know that "the Elf Legolas in his child-like wonder awakens the mothering-instinct in women."

Well. I sure wouldn't want to have a child with two long knives running around my place. And mothering is about the last thing that comes to my mind ... it's not our inner mother-hen waving apron strings, it's our hormones putting on fancy little party hats and doing the conga. Who would have thought that we would find ourselves one day fancying a guy who wears leggings and has long blond hair - with braids!

Of all the Elves we have seen so far in the LOTR movies, Legolas is the most "elven" one. Unlike Elrond, whom you expect to turn up any second wearing a t-shirt reading "Doomed! Doomed!", Legolas stays cheerful no matter the circumstances, and he possesses a sly kind of humour. Who else but he (and Gimli, of course), would get involved in a "Counting Heads" competition in the middle of a battlefield!
"I told you before and I'll tell you again, Johnny - I will NOT jump the shark ..."
It remains to be seen if Bloom will stay "in demand" after the Lord of the Rings trilogy has ended and the elfomania has settled. He'd better - after all I placed a bet of 10 quid that he'll turn up in one of the "Harry Potter" movies ...
There must be a gazillion websites about Orlando Bloom and Legolas - ranging from informational sites to weird and whacky ones. These here are randomly chosen.
Beautiful without being 'girly', graceful without appearing weak, Legolas keeps the air of innocence despite being a skilled warrior - even right in the middle of a battle he looks unspoilt. He's the perfect being in an imperfect world. Elves are described as the "fairest of all beings", and Legolas is indeed too "fair of face" to resist (not that the rest of him wasn't nice to look at as well).
"The Two Towers" gives Legolas (and the actor) more opportunity to show some depth than "The Fellowship of the Ring" did. While part one of the trilogy showed the Elf still somewhat "Spock-like" and stoic, he's now showing nerves and emotions. He's getting angry when he believes Aragorn to be dead, he's deeply sad about the supposed loss of the two hobbits, speaking a blessing: "May they find peace after death."

These emotions make him more vulnerable, and the "perfect Elf" from The Fellowship finally fails. He who never misses his target can't take down the Uruk'hai carrying the torch to light the explosives placed under the wall of the stronghold. He tries twice, but still the enemy succeeds, which consequently leads to many deaths among Men and Elves.

Unfortunately, it is not shown how Legolas deals with this - surely he can't remain unaffected.

Maybe in the next movie ...
Another positive aspect of "The Two Towers" is the growing friendship between Legolas and Gimli, the Dwarf. Their playful banter adds the comic relief needed to break up the dramatic scenes, and to make them bearable. One moment you see our heroes facing the overwhelming power of Saruman's army and almost certain death. The next, Legolas jokes with Gimli, who's too small to see what's happening on the other side of the wall, asking if he should get him a box to stand on. So it's no surprise that it's Gimli who offers a gesture of comfort and a word of compassion when Legolas grieves for Aragorn, showing a very touching aspect of this friendship between two so very different characters - an almost father/son relationship has grown.

The fascinating thing about the character of Legolas is that he, despite all the pathos, passes today's "coolness" test without a problem. On a scale of 1 - 10 he hits a clear 12. No, make that a 13 - for the "skating down the stairs while continuing to shoot" scene in "The Two Towers" he deserves an extra point. That's the main attraction to Legolas: despite his almost 3000 years of age, he appears to still be young enough to be a goof at times.

Not your next-door sk8erboy - but definitely a sk8er elf.
"No helm-hair for me tomorrow ..."
And then along came Orlando. Even sporting a mohawk he was knocking us all out of our flares. He's not handsome because some surgeon cut off something here and added a little there, but because he's a character. We go moo-eyed over him even when we see pictures taken early in the morning where he looks still half asleep.

No talkshow without an Orlando-interview, no mag without an "Orli" feature. VOGUE, ARENA - you name it, he was in it.
Oh - we almost forgot a link:

Everything Tolkien officially said about Elf-Sex
Useful things to know in case you should ever meet one. Elf, that is.
I've written this article originally for the "Lord of the Rings" special in issue #5 of "PK Webzine", March 2003. We all had a lot of fun with this special, also of it was a helluva lot of work. Our betas worked overtime! The "Legolas" article was the most difficult one to write - with all them hormones fogging up the computer screen ... ;-)
(Or Hobbit. Human. Whatever.)

"The Young Elf's Handbook" - A guide to courting and wooing.

Animated music videos ("Lord of the Dance", "The Singing Legolas") and more

Staff / Erestor's biography and photo album / Last Homely Gallery / Ballad of Fin, the Balrog Slayer and more


Photomanipulations, Elf-Ads etc.

Elrond, Haldir, Legolas, Elves, Orlando Bloom Gallery, Midsomer Murders, Graham Norton, TLR. Pirates of the Caribbean, Hugo Weaving

Archive for all Lord of the Rings-related articles I wrote.







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