"CELEBORNIAN"
by

THE BORSHT COMRADES

a spoof on
"Bohemian Rhapsody"
by Queen
HOME
RIVENDELL
TOURIST BOARD
MIRKWOOD
TOURIST BOARD
Is this the real life?
No, its just fantasy
Caught in Lothlorien
No escape from Galadriel
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
Im just a poor elf, I need some sympathy
Because Im  - easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
On my way to Mirkwood
Nothing really matters to me, to me

Valar
Ill kill my wife
Shoot an arrow through her head
Then Id laugh, Oh joy, shes dead
Valar
Life would just begin
But now I have to throw it all away
Valar, oooooh
Didnt mean to make you mad
If shes not back again this time tomorrow
She is dead, she is dead
And Ill be on my way to Mirkwood

Too late, her time has come
She sends shivers down my spine; my heads aching all the time
Good-bye, Galadhrim
I have to go, Gotta leave you all behind and face the shrew
Valar, oooooh (on my way to Mirkwood)
I dont wanna hide
Sometimes I wish Id never been Celeborn

I see a little silhouette of a wife
Celeborn, Celeborn what the hell are you drinking? 
Thunderbolt of lightning, very very frightening me
Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Feanor
I hate you more!
Im just a poor elf, nobody loves me
Hes just a poor elf, She kicked him off the tree
Spare me this life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go- will you let me go, Oh lady
No! I will not let you go
Let me go, Oh Lady,
I will not let your go
Let me go! Oh Lady,
Will not let you go
Let me go!
Never ever, ever let me go.

Ai! Mighty Eru, Mighty Eru, Mighty Eru let me go!
Damned Morgoth had a Balrog as a wife for me!

So you think you can stop me by hiding my wine?
Send me straight into Mordor along with the Nine?!
Old Lady! Cant do this to me Lady!
Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right outta here!

Nothing really matters, every Elf can see
Nothing really matters- nothing really matters, to me
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