Set in the Glorfindel Lion-heart alternative universe
Dramatis personae: Erestor/Glorfindel, Thranduil/Sloe (you *so* knew this had to come...)
Rating: orange.
Beta: Miss Zimraphel.
Warnings: Smut. (The audience goes "huh?")
Summary: Thranduil proves to be an Elf of quick decisions.
Author's notes: Fellow pagans among the readers of this tale might recognise some well-known traditions mentioned in this chapter. I see Thranduil as the "Green Man".
Have fun, and a merry, peaceful Yule time to all of you. And if you feel like being generous: Doctors without Borders always need donations. Thank you!
YULETIDE TALES, DAY 5:
How Mauburz came to Imladris
It was the night before Yule, but the Orc did not know this, of course. Orcs did not celebrate Yule, or the beginning of spring, or any other of the holidays everyone else in Middle-earth held sacred. For her, it was just another winter night, cold and depressing, and she pulled the fur around her neck a little higher, to cover her long chin.
Mauburz the Straggler heard the soft whimpers when she went out for a little walk outside of the camp. Mauburz used every chance to escape her fellow Orcs, whom she considered to be bad-mannered and in desperate need of a bath. This aside, she was not overly keen on the dinner, which consisted of two fat armadillos.
It was not easy being the only female Orc in a camp of two thousand. Not that anybody cared - they were probably too daft to realise the differences, anyway. There is an odd one out in every lot, so Men said, and Mauburz was the odd one in this case - she did not fit in. This night she had fled from the campfire when two of the Uruks who had joined them in the last week had began to boast how many Elves they had slain in the last battle.
Mauburz shuddered at the thought. She liked Elves. Well, all Orcs liked Elves - cooked, baked or grilled - but Mauburz liked them in a less culinary way. Not only did she refuse to eat meat - she insisted it gave her heartburn, especially grilled Dwarf - she also thought that it was rather distasteful to eat relatives. And after all, had the Orcs not once been Elves as well? Or so it was rumoured.
She thought that Elves had cute ears, and she preferred to see said ears on the side of their heads, where they belonged to, rather than hanging as trophies around some unwashed Uruk's neck. Elves looked so pretty. And they smelled nice. And they had lovely voices. Sometimes, she'd sneak up as close as she could to one of their dwellings and listened to their singing. It was a good thing none of the others knew about her weak spot - yet.
Mauburz was not a fool, she was well aware that her sudden "disappearances" when it came to battles involving Elves were noticed. As a matter of fact, she had thought about leaving the camp and running away for quite a while, but where could one single Orc go? It was not very likely that any of the people of Middle-earth would offer her shelter.
Those were her musings when she heard the odd sound. Curious to see who or what was mewling out here in the cold dark night, she began to stomp through the snow. The sound became louder, and more desperate, and she hurried up. "Now what is that?" she said to herself upon seeing the bundle beside the tree. It was a large bag made of Warg skin, the kind all Orcs used to transport - things. Often unmentionable things. Had one of her camp forgotten another armadillo? There was only one way to find out. Mauburz, not one for subtleties, did not waste time by trying to open the rope which held the bag closed. Instead, she dug her sharp claws in the skin and tore it open. Then she stared down in disbelief at the contents of the bag.
"Now you very odd armadillo!" she said, The two toddlers, dirty and with ruffled hair, blinked and looked up to her with big, fearful eyes. It took Mauburz only a moment to identify her find.
"You Elf babies! What you do here? Where is mummy Elf?" The two just stared at her. This was the most curious thing she had ever seen! They were so tiny, and they looked identical. How was this possible?
"You young, just hatched from egg." she stated, and reached out to touch one of the tiny beings. "Ouch! You bad Elfie!" she groaned when one of the Elflings bit her and moved protectively in front of the one who was probably his brother.
Now it was just like her to get in a situation like this. "Mauburz not take you to camp. Orcs think you be dinner. But Mauburz not eat Elves."
The Elflings did not understand a single word she said, of course, but they sensed that this very odd, very ugly creature did not mean them any harm. Unlike the other odd and ugly creatures who had dragged their mother away and put them in a sack. The Elflings clung to each other, searching for warmth and comfort. The one who had bit Mauburz put a tiny arm around his brother, who sniffled.
"Oh, you warrior, yes?" Mauburz said, and patted the Elfling on the head. She did so very carefully, for she did not wish to harm the child. She also did not wish for the child to harm her, because he obviously had very sharp teeth. "Fine, you warrior Elfie. I'm warrior Orc. We be good friends."
She pointed at her chest, her claw scratching on the armour. "Me Mauburz. Me nice Orc, not eat Elfies. Elfies friends, not food."
A puzzled look from the child. His brother hid his face, afraid of the Orc. Mauburz beat on her chest.
"Mauburz. Mau-burz. Like cat and birds. Mauburz. Not difficult, you try?"
The child seemed to understand. He pointed at her. "Urz! Urz!" Then he pointed at his brother, saying "Hir" and finally at himself. "Adan!" he declared proudly, and nodded.
"Hir and Adan? Were parents drunk when gave you name? Elfies are very silly."
She scratched her neck. "Now what Mauburz do with you. Can't take you to camp, they'd think you're dessert. Can't leave you here, too cold and you freeze ears off. Hm. Best thing I go and fetch warg and then we all go. Not like here, anyway."
She covered the two children with her cloak, and hurried back to the camp.
* * *
"We should make camp here, Glorfindel. You are as exhausted as me; nobody will be helped if we break down from exhaustion."
Glorfindel, who tried to shade his eyes from the snow, sighed. He knew that Erestor was right, but the thought that out there Elrond's sons might be still alive made it hard for him to agree with his friend.
"Glorfindel, please..." he heard Erestor's begging voice, and he nodded.
The two Elves descended from their horses, and began to set up camp. While Glorfindel freed the area around the trunk of a spruce, Erestor pulled down the lower branches and pinned them down in the snow. This made a simple, but effective lean-on. Once this was done, they started a fire, and began to eat their way bread.
Under different circumstances, Glorfindel would have enjoyed the opportunity to spend a couple of days alone with Erestor. He could have teased the advisor to his heart's delight, and they would have spent hours and hours of bickering and arguing. At night, he could have enjoyed the simple pleasure of watching Erestor sleep and bask in his presence. Erestor was always cold and distant with him, and Glorfindel wondered if he might have noticed Glorfindel's attraction for him.
But as things were, with Celebrķan being dead and the twins lost, Glorfindel's mind was focussed solely on the destiny of Elrohir and Elladan, who were hopefully still alive and waited to be found.
"Glorfindel, do you think... do you think there is still a chance of finding them?"
The warrior took another bite of the bread, chewed it carefully and gave Erestor a sidewise glance.
"To be honest with you: no. But I have been wrong so often in my life, so who knows? I just cannot allow myself to believe that the wee ones have met the same fate as their mother. Maybe the Orcs were disturbed and did not find the time yet to..."
He broke off, unwilling to voice his terrible suspicions. Erestor understood him well - uttering it would make it more real. How often had he played with the twins, and Elladan's giggling still rang in his ears. The sweet little Elflings... it just could not be true that he would never see them again.
Glorfindel saw the pain in Erestor's eyes. He hesitated a moment, then he put his hand on Erestor's, squeezing it lightly. Erestor did not pull his hand away, but gave Glorfindel a grateful smile. If only it could have always been like that, Glorfindel thought.
For a while, they sat and ate in silence, each of them hanging on to their dark thoughts, when suddenly Glorfindel jerked up and stared out into the darkness.
"What--?" Erestor began, but Glorfindel quickly clamped his hand over the advisor's mouth.
"Shhh," he hissed, "there is someone out there! Quick, extinguish the fire!"
Hastily, the two Elves covered the fire with snow, and climbed the tree. There they sat, their knives at the ready, and waited for the unknown traveller to pass.
* * *
"You stop pulling Mauburz hair! Bad Elfie!" Mauburz lamented, but the children she carried in a cloth on her bag found pulling on her hair far too amusing to stop the new game. The warg fought his way through the snow, the journey progressed slowly.
While the toddlers on her back seemed to be quite happy with the new situation, Mauburz was very worried. With the extra weight of the little ones, she could not ride as quickly as she would have liked to, and the snow was deep, slowing the warg down. By now her pack had certainly noticed her absence, and she could not know if they would just shrug and think her to be killed, or if they would follow her.
And then there was the problem of the destination of her journey. Where to go to? There were some settlements close by, but was it wise to leave two little Elves with Men? Mauburz was not overly fond of Men. But where to find Elves now?
Mauburz was just about to consider to camp for the night when she saw the shine of a fire. She sniffed - and smiled. Elves! There were Elves close by! Maybe scouts? In any case Elves. She drove the warg on.
"You move, stoopid warg! Very important! You go there quick, you get extra rabbit."
The warg could not have cared less for the promised extra treat, but the heel of Mauburz' boot in his side made him jump forward.
"Now that odd..." Mauburz murmured. The light had become brighter and then disappeared. Again she sniffed - smoke.
"Ah, little Elfies, there is family for you! Have heard Mauburz and hide now, me thinks. Well, will find them."
After another ten minutes, Mauburz had reached the place where Erestor and Glorfindel had made camp. She saw the extinguished fire, smelled the smoke, and combined rather quickly where she might find those who had lighted the fire in the first place.
She hopped off her warg, assuming quite correctly that the presence of the beast might scare the Elves. She shooed the warg away, and he retreated obediently.
Mauburz looked up, and was just about to call out to the Elves who hid in the tree when a tall figure dropped down in front of her and pressed a knife to her throat. She would have swallowed hard if the pressure of the cold steel had not made this impossible.
"Kill it," a cold voice behind her said.
"No, maybe it can tell us something useful. You," the Elf said, increasing the pressure, "do you speak our tongue?"
Mauburz cursed herself for being so careless. Of course the Elves would attack her, this was something she should have thought of.
"Yes," she croaked, "Mauburz speak a little your tongue. Take away knife, Mauburz not enemy. Mauburz like Elfies."
Glorfindel, for he was the one threatening Mauburz with his knife, arched an eyebrow.
"Elfies?"
"Yes, Elfies. Mauburz very much like Elfies. They nice to look at and smell nice and have funny ears."
Mauburz heard footsteps in the snow - the Elf behind her was walking past her, coming to stand beside his companion. Mauburz felt rather uncomfortable under the scrutinizing gaze of the two Elves.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurz!"
Glorfindel started, cutting Mauburz incidentally in the process, and Erestor took a step back upon hearing the cry.
"By the Valar, what is that?" Glorfindel gasped.
"Baby Elves! And you hurt Mauburz, stoopid Elf!" Mauburz groaned.
"Did it just say 'Baby Elves'?" Erestor asked.
"Yes, Mauburz did say so. What wrong with you, have grapes in ears? And not call Mauburz 'it', Mauburz is lady Orc."
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurz!"
Glorfindel decided that this odd creature that did not seem to be armed posed no danger at the moment, and lowered his knife. Mauburz reached up and touched her neck with her paw and winced.
"You stoopid Elf! Have hurt Mauburz! When all Mauburz do was helping Baby Elf!" she cried, and snarled at Glorfindel. Then her head snapped back. "Ouch! Leave hair, stoopid Elfie!"
Erestor quickly walked behind Mauburz, and stared in total bewilderment at the tiny hand that had fisted in the Orc's dark mane.
"Now this cannot be...," he said to himself, then reached out and touched the hand. Tiny fingers closed around his index finger, and a shock of dark hair, followed by a pair of curious grey eyes became visible.
"Toooooooooooooooooooooor!" the child giggled, and Erestor almost fainted.
"Glorfindel! It is one of the twins!" he screamed, and Glorfindel almost fell over his own feet in his hurry to get to Erestor and see the miracle for himself. His knife made quick work with the cloth, and the two Elves almost broke out in song and dance at the sight of Elladan and Elrohir, who were terribly dirty, but obviously unharmed.
"Yes, twins. Two Elfies, Mauburz found in woods. You know mama and papa Elf?"
Erestor took Elrohir and pressed the little one close to his chest to shelter him from the cold. Glorfindel had wrapped Elladan in his cloak. Advisor and warrior looked at each other, then Glorfindel nodded.
"Yes, we know the parents of the little ones. Now tell us, who are you, and how comes you have the children with you?"
Mauburz, who still rubbed her neck, rolled her eyes.
"You Elfies have very bad memory. As said: found baby Elfies in wood and thought: not want other Orcs eat them. So, Mauburz take baby Elfies and leave camp in middle of night, looking for home. Then see light, smell Elfies, and so Mauburz here. Not think Elfies would try kill Mauburz, if Mauburz only try to help."
Glorfindel did not know whether to cry or laugh at the sight of the obviously insulted Orc.
"You are a very odd creature, Mauburz. But we owe you eternal gratitude for rescuing the twins. Pray tell, what are we supposed to do with you now? I do not think your pack will be too happy with you now."
Mauburz wrinkled her nose.
"Not go back to pack. Stoopid Orcs, always hating and killing. Mauburz not like killing, not like fighting."
She looked hopeful at the two Elves.
"You take Mauburz with you? Mauburz strong, can do many things, very useful! Also like flowers, could look after garden!"
"Mauburz... I really do not think that Imladris would be the right place for you..." Glorfindel began, but upon seeing the disappointed expression on the Orc's face, he broke off.
Erestor studied the Orc in front of him. Well yes, it was an Orc - no, she was an Orc, and Mauburz was without a doubt one of the ugliest creatures he had ever seen, but he could sense no malice. The children were alive and uninjured. She was not an enemy.
"Glorfindel, I think we should leave this up to Lord Elrond to decide. For now, we should hurry to bring him these late Yule gifts." He smiled at Mauburz and bowed his head respectfully. "Yule gifts he will receive thanks to this kind lady."
Mauburz looked Erestor up and down. Among Elves, Lord Elrond's chief advisor was considered to be average looking. His nose was a little too long, he was of a rather unhealthy paleness, and his eyes could be cold as a pond in winter. But to Mauburz, he was the most beautiful being she had ever seen, standing there with his long black hair and the child clutched to his chest.
"Your wife very beautiful," Mauburz said to Glorfindel, "very nice wife. You must have many, many baby Elfies!"
It was neither the time nor the place for laughter, but Glorfindel, once he understood what Mauburz had been saying, laughed out loud. Erestor, however, turned brick red when Mauburz' words sunk in.
"I am a male Elf," he said with all the dignity he could muster. "I would have thought this was obvious."
"Oh? No, not obvious, you wear trousers, can't see. Well, Mauburz still think you pretty. Very sorry you not Elf-lady, you look good with baby."
"I think it is time we leave," Erestor said with an icy voice, and walked past Mauburz and Glorfindel. He could not see the admiring and longing look that followed him.
"You sad that he not lady Elf, yes?"
Glorfindel started.
"Huh?" he said, rather unintelligently.
"Mauburz said: you sad that pretty Elf with black hair not Elf lady, yes?"
Glorfindel decided that he would not discuss his unrequited and hopeless love for Erestor in the middle of the night with an Orc. So he sighed, pressed a kiss on Elrohir's head and followed Erestor to the horses.
"Stoopid Elves," Mauburz muttered, then she snuggled deeper into her furs and trotted after Glorfindel.