YULETIDE TALES 2003
"THE TW(ELF) DAYS OF YULE"
This is a series of 12 ficlets, pure fluffy silliness, which will be rated G - PG-13, depending on the day. Gen, het, slash - something for everybody. Beta-read by Eveiya, thanks a lot!
I wish you all a joyful festive season. And if you, between unwrapping presents and digging into the Christmas dinner, should stop a moment to think of those who have less or nothing, you might feel like sharing your happiness, and go here:
DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS
5 dollars can make a difference - and a donation in honour of somebody rather than presenting him with another tie or ashtrey he or she doesn't need might be a nice idea this Christmas, too...
Thanks!
Erestor
THE THIRD NIGHT OF YULE
"'t was the third night of Yule, and his family
added much to Lord Elrond's misery"
"Elrohir – why are you wrapping up a brick?" Elladan asked his twin, watching with fascination as his brother tried, with great enthusiasm but no skill, to wrap a heavy, mud-coloured something in a colourful piece of silk. It was a tradition they all held dear – gifts were wrapped in a piece of cloth and tied up with a bow, then put on the mantle of the fireplace. On Yule-morning, their father would hand the gifts out, and everybody got a glass of mulled wine.
"This is not a brick," Elrohir sniffled, clearly insulted, "'t is a vase for Ada's study".
Elladan cocked an eyebrow, and for a moment, the likeness to Lord Elrond was almost ridiculous.
"A vase? Are you sure? Have you any evidence for it?" he joked, returning his attention to his own gift, a pouch of finest tobacco.
"Of course it is a vase – I made it myself! It is a work of art, you peasant," Elrohir snorted, throwing is brother a less than friendly glance.
"Oh now is it, really. Elrohir, how old are you?"
Elrohir looked at his brother suspiciously.
"Same age as you, less two minutes", he grumbled, "why do you ask?"
"If you are my age, you are 3243 years old – which means that you are 3143 years past your majority, am I correct?" Elladan continued, without looking up. The tip of his tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth, and he didn't look a day older than 20.
"Yes, you are correct, but…" Elrohir began, only to be interrupted by his older brother.
"Now if you agree, which seems to be the case, then it means that you are exactly 3143 years too old to make your presents for ada yourself and old enough to start buying them!"
Elrohir pouted.
"You do not know what you are talking about, Elladan. I am an artist. I am a sensitive soul, I do not burden myself with material values."
"In other words: you are broke."
"Yes."
"Ai, what a tragedy," Elladan sighed in mock pity, "ada will get his favourite weed from me and something unspeakable in mud from you. I guess the next time we both ask to borrow his steed, you will be the one who has to walk."
"I have not asked to borrow ada’s steed for centuries," Elrohir snorted, and blew a strand of hair, which hung in his face, to the side, "nor have you."
"Of course not," his older brother replied, looking down at the packet with an innocent smile, "I do not have to ask ada for a steed, I have my own now."
"Elladan!"
The older twin snickered, and elbowed his brother in the side.
"Oh, now do not be such a prude, Elrohir."
"I am not a prude!" Elrohir protested, "I just think it is – unsettling how you speak about your husband."
"Unsettling? Ai – to think that I always considered myself to be the more innocent of us, penneth. But I shall refrain from frivolous speech in future while you are present, so your pure heart may not get corrupted."
Elrohir whacked Elladan up the head, and both broke out in loud laughter.
"But seriously, Elladan – what is it like to be – you know, bonded?" the younger one asked, looking at his brother curiously.
Elladan stopped a moment to fiddle with the cloth, and thought about the question.
"It is difficult to say – it is like walking for a long time and getting lost, and then finding home. I cannot explain, I am afraid – I just feel whole. Yes - Orophin is the other half of my being. It is – beautiful."
Now it was Elladan's turn to blush, and Elrohir smiled.
"So, what will you give your husband-of-thirty-days for Yule? Anything special?"
Elladan grinned, and it was a decidedly wicked grin.
"Yes – I have decided I will place myself under the Yule tree."
Elrohir frowned.
"Yourself? What do you mean by this?"
Another giggle from Elladan.
"It means it will just be me, wearing nothing but a bow."
"Where?"
"What?"
"The bow."
"Ah – well, there."
"There?!?"
"Ai."
"Oh! Unwrapping the present being the present, then?"
Elladan nodded, and both Elves giggled. Then Elrohir passed Elladan a tiny piece of velvet band.
"Here, you will need this."
"What for?" his twin asked, puzzled.
"For the bow – if nothing has changed since you last took a swim, a tiny one should suffice."
* * *
"The third day has passed
dear reader and friend
and now you might wonder
how the fourth will end..."