ACOTER: ANNUAL CONFERENCE OF THE ELVEN REALMS
Overall rating: blue/yellow (see rating system)
Category: slash (two male Elves in some kind of love) humour, romance
Pairings: Erestor/Glorfindel, Haldir/Rabbit impl., Celeborn/Galadriel and Aragorn/Arwen mentioned
Warnings: none
Beta: Miss Eveiya
Summary: Every year, Elrond, Celeborn, Galadriel and Thrandúil meet up for a conference in Rivendell. This year, Glorfindel's untiring and somewhat excentric efforts to win Erestor's love add to the general chaos - as does Elrond's wine cellar.
Author's notes: This is how it all began - how Glorfindel won Erestor's heart. This is pure humour, no angst, no drama, just warm fuzzies. Written from Erestor's point of view, this was the origin of Erestor's "Work Reports".
Day 1: Glorfinkle, Garfindel and Glorfunkle
Hectic day. The Annual Conference of the Elven Realms (ACOTER™) is held in Imladris this year, so the place is packed with horses and nobility.
King Thranduil the Exceptional and Impressive, Most Splendid and Feared Ruler of Mirkwood, King by the Valar's Grace, Ruler of 2000 Years, Shining Star of Greenwood The Green, Fairest of all Elven Lords, Light of the Dark Ages, Son of Oropher the magnificent, Elbereth's gift to the Eldar, etc. etc. etc., arrived early in the morning with his entourage.
Tricky business, considering the somewhat strained relationship between our two realms.
We have spent the last few days removing all Gil-galad paintings, figurines, statues and commemorative mugs from public sight, and Elrond is sulking because I deleted the trip to the Gil-galad museum from the list of official do's for tomorrow. Could not talk him out of using the Gil-galad tea-pot warmer, though.
I had planned to welcome the king with an intimidating formal reception; unfortunately he arrived early and Elrond was still busy holding council.
There were two Hobbits arguing over the ownership of a donkey, and while Elrond tried to talk some sense into them, the donkey decided that it had had enough petty bickering for one day and escaped into the great hall - the very moment Thranduil arrived.
He looked at me and said: "Master Erestor, you have not changed a bit since I last saw you."
Then he addressed the donkey: "Nor have you, dear Elrond."
I decided to show Thranduil to his rooms before another kinslaying took place.
Then I went looking for Glorfindel to discuss the rota for the guards. I found him near the Bruinen, practicing his archery using a painting of Thranduil as a target.
Judging from the results, he is either a seriously inferior archer or he was not aiming above the waistline in the first place …
Obviously one of Glorfindel's countless former wives had run off in the First Age with a bow-sales elf from Mirkwood, and he had held a grudge ever since.
Considering that one of Thranduil’s former wives ran off with Glorfindel, I think he is overdoing it, though.
Thranduil brought presents – how delightful: a book for the twins ("It is about Noldorian battle strategies through the ages and why they do not work"); a set of silver knitting needles for Arwen ("The only proper weapons for a lady"); and 3 carrion crows ("the best you can find in Mirkwood") for Elrond.
One bit him.
Just what we needed. How nice.
As soon as Thranduil was out of sight, Elrond passed the birds on to me, grabbed a bottle of Miruvor and retired to his rooms, feigning a headache.
Glorfindel suggested we serve the birds with garlic sauce for luncheon, but I decided to keep them. He pursed his lips and said that this was a wonderful idea, indeed, having pets was an expression of a sensitive mind, but maybe I should consider wearing a red robe for a change then, otherwise people might find it difficult to tell me from the crows.
I called the beasts Glorfinkle, Garfindel and Glorfunkle.
He was not amused.
Good!
Erestor
Note to myself: Celeborn and Galadriel will arrive tomorrow; I must not forget to put a heavier lock on the door of the wine cellar.